TEEN STORIES – 2010
XENETTI MHUX EDITJATI
Minn Mario Azzopardi
1. ALISTAIR B.
Alistair B. jsuq mutur Ninja-Rocket X7-10 Z. Jilbes flokk Monster Dirt Gear 2008 u Fox Racing V3 Helmet.
Alistair B. jilbes il-ktajjen ma’ sidru, mal-polz u mal-ghekiesi ta’ saqajh.
Alistair B. izarzar l-ekzost pajp biex kulhadd jisimghu ghaddej jobrox it-tarmak u jibza’ minnu.
Il-Gimgha, 28 ta’ Settembru, fis-2.10 ta filghodu.
Alistaire B. spidjat fuq it-tidlik mix-xlokk tat-triq gdida li fethu xahar ilu.
Alistair B. milwi ‘l quddiem. Jinfed id-dlam u jahraq it-triq.
Imbaghad in-Ninja Rocket jaghtih tal-qamar u l-ewwel jibda jserrep bhal wizgha mignuna u mbaghad idur zugraga u jobzoq lil Alistair B.
Lejn l-eternita’. Fis-2.13 ta’ filghodu.
Il-pulizija waslu b’zewg muturi u karozza ddawwar l-ikhal fuq is-saqaf. Tkellmu ma’ tal-ambulanza bic-cellulari.
Imbaghad tefghu ir-ramel fuq roqgha demm skura, riha tal-ahhar mumenti ta’ Alistair B.
Qabel ghattewha, ir-roqgha demm kienet qed thares lejn il-kwiekeb tal-ahhar ta’ Settembru.
Imbaghad kienu qorbu t-3.00 ta’ filghodu.
2. BRENDA
Brenda thobb lil Lady Gaga. Il-Madonna wannabe li tizfen mas-subien nofshom gharwenin.
Brenda giet liebsa mini u bra-top.
Brenda maghluba wisq. Dakinhar tal-party kienet tidher bhal aringa b’mental disorder.
- Da dam! You like?
M’iniex se nghidilha x’nahseb ghax infottilha kollox.
- Tal-ostra Brenda! Cool! Would’t mind if you ask me nicely!
Taparsi naghtiha bewsa, nippekkjaha, tipo, u thossha OK.
Missierha u ommha qed jisseparaw. Ommha trid id-dar, il-Pajero u seba’ mitt Ewro fix-xahar.
Missier Brenda jrid biss ikun mal-lover, eks mudella mill-Ukrajina. Tiswa hamest idjar, tliet Pajero u tlitt elef Euro fix-xahar, man.
Ma nafx mnejn iz-zigg sabha u x’izzigg ratlu.
Nispera li Brenda ma tibdiex teqred il-lejla wkoll u tibda biz-zobb ta’ separazzjoni t’ommha w missierha. Depressing, ha nghidlek.
U mbaghad b’dak il-mini u dak it-top.
Loser, man, ha nghidlek. Meqruda.
3. SUNDAY BLUES
Fuq il-blog ta’ Justin McAmber qrajt li ta’ erbatax kienet hatfitu mara ta’ 55 f’Bayview Alley. U skopra s-sess in action, fid-dar taghha, darba wara nofsinhar.
Bilfors McAmber se jaqaghlu ghal mara! Dan x’gost fiha mara ta’ 55, nghid jien. U 55 kemm qaltu hi! Jien nghid ghalija ‘tini
erbgha vodka straight u gisem minn Paceville. Kollox maghqud u minn taht xejn.
Immur ghall-weekend wara gimgha gewwa depression bil-qahba Chemistry.
- Illistja sex, qaltli Shanaya, kif ratni quddiem il-Havana b’jeans u top Scandal Sheet.
Immorru naqtghu il-biljetti ghal tal-ahhar.
- Smajtha l-ahhar wahda ta’ Paris Hilton?
- Jaqaw?
- Shit! Celebrities hit it easy mal-pulizija! Ghamlet tlitt ijiem minflok 23 wara li saqet b’licenzja sospiza u kisret probation.
Shit!
Shanaya thallini mmissha fl-ahhar filliera.
Ghada nerga’ ghall-kullegg, ninqered. U l-lejla qed inhosni bott karawett battal u mifqugh, miexi fuq zewg stikki tal-kebab.
It’s a fairy tale story. Madonna swooping into rural Malawi. Issa tatha ghall-karita’ u ghall-hniena u ghazlet lil David Banda ta’ sentejn, for adoption.
Missier David bidwi. The most famous farmer of all, qed tghid il-media Amerikana. U qed joggezzjona. Nuts!
- Hang on, guys. Hemm il-protesti: 67 Aid Agencies qed jipprotestaw.
- Christ! Kulhadd jipprotesta: child charities u church groups u gruppi tan-nisa u djar tal-iltiema. Jesus!
Madonna must follow the law, qed jghidu. Iridu jiehdu l-kaz il-Qorti:
Let her not navigate around the bloody laws just because she’s who she is.
David Banda m’ghandux ommu. Mietet b’virus stramb. U z-zewg hutu l-ohra mietu wkoll, b’dijarea li ma seta’ jwaqqaf hadd, lanqas is-sahhara.
U miljun ohra mietu. U 77 miljun.
A child every three fuckin’ seconds.
Ma nafx David johlomx bihom bil-lejl. Forsi ghadu zghir wisq.
Ghalissa lil David Banda qed izommuh fil-Home of Hope. Missieru bidwi u armel u fqir daqs gurdien tad-drenagg.
Nutty! Ghaliex qed jipprotesta li jridu jadottawlu lil ibnu?
Kienet gharqana xraba. Kienet ilha titqanzah u timbotta saghtejn u nofs.
Ghajnejha kienu mqabbzin u xagharha mghakkar u n-ners xarrbitilha xufftejha kollhom qxur, bi sponza.
Qaltilhom li ghandha tmintax, imma hadd m’emminha. Tawha hmistax jew l-aktar, sittax.
Il-midwife tat daqqtejn b’sahhithom fuq dahar it-tarbija u t-tarbija bdiet tixher. Il-madum donnu nhasad.
- Ghandek tifel!
- Diga’ ghidtilkom li ma rridux. Ippakkjawh u ‘tuh lis-sorijiet.
- Mhux facli daqskemm qed tahseb int. Hemm hafna kumplikazzjonijiet. Ara xi gmiel ta’ tarbija. Lanqas jidher li prematur.
- Ghidtilkom li ma rridux. Fuck it! Qeghduh f’kaxxa u huduh fuq it-tarag tal-kunvent. Il-boyfriend ‘qas jaf li kont pregnant. Jekk isir jaf joqtolni.
Imbaghad qalet lin-ners li se tqum u trid tmur id-dar qabel jasal hu mix-xift ta’ filghaxija.
- Mhux hekk l-affarijiet. Trid tistrieh. Tista’ tigik amorragija. Ma kienx facli l-hlas.
- Irrid inkun id-dar qabel jasal hu… il-lejla nista’ jkolli sess?
- X’sess! Dazgur li le!
- Imma jkolli…ikolli nhallih.
TMIEM